We all say things like this, don't we: "Coney Island's Wonder Wheel is a Ferris wheel ON ACID!" Or: "Chocolate Bacon funnel cakes are normal funnel cakes ON ACID!" And so on. Most of the time, it's jokingly over the top. I've never taken acid (it's on my bucket list), but from what I've been told by the experienced, things have to be pretty trippy to be like something else "on acid."
While I can't say with certainty that Space Fantasy: The Ride is like something else "on acid," I've little doubt that had it been built in America, it would be the only roller coaster listed as a Schedule I substance by the DEA.
Look at the picture above and tell me that isn't something you'd expect to see during a hallucinogenic episode. And that is just a little pre-show moment in the exterior queue. It gets way weirder inside.
There are space crystals and space fairies and a space princess and space fireworks and all kinds of wacky, glowy space junk and lasers and mirrors and you spin and there are buttons to press that do nothing or something we never figured out and planetary rings you fly right under and music and more space junk and more three-limbed flying emoticon-bots and more visual and auditory stimuli than a human brain can process in one serving it's insane and wonderful and so many pretty colors DUDE IT'S ABSOLUTELY DERANGED.
Yay, it is mission success! Happy Sunfairy wishes us most joyful memory capture photo purchase! Space Fantasy is simply unmissable.
I hope listening to some Japanese voice-over actor portraying Edward Furlong is missable, because our group did pass up on T2-3D. I sure adored this attraction during its first seasons, but with poor Eddie really going through some rough patches and Arnold... criminy, man... Plus, Terminator: Salvation left SUCH a bad taste in my mouth, but I won't burden you with that particular rant.
I love Uni Orlando's Wizarding World and ...Forbidden Journey and I'm very much looking forward to Florida's enormous, audacious, park-straddling mega-land. But did they have to take out Jaws? Bean-counters and focus-group testers and all kinds of starched-shirt management types who are paid to keep emotion out of decision-making all probably assert that Jaws is over and Harry Potter is not. And the cost of operating and maintaining the attraction, and blah, blah, blah. I won't argue with them. So thanks for all the good times, Bruce; don't let the door hit ya.
I have a framed print of the original Jaws movie poster because it was and always will be on my Top Ten list. So I would not have missed Japanese Jaws for any reason. We had a powerfully enthusiastic, and totally adorable, female boat captain and it was as bitchen as always. Great White sharks are still effing scary things, yo. I hope Japan gets to keep their Jaws for a long time to come.
Okay, so Japanese Jurassic Park: this was a HUGE surprise. I figured we'd get a kissing cousin of the rides in California and Florida, and we did, pretty much, until we got inside the big pumping station. There's, like, a whole second ride in there! After the lift up to the top, the sequence before the big RRRRAAWWRRR finale is much longer than our stateside versions, totally boss.
Had it been a warm, sunny day, we would have gone back for another spin for sure. Sleet, hail, sharknado, doesn't matter: if you're fan of rampaging thunder lizards, do not raincheck this JP river adventure. |
